My sister s******* assaulted me when I was about 6. I have never told anyone ever. I’m 30 years old now and it’s still f*****’ me up inside. I just hope that I can keep all these secrets I have deep down and not end it all. I have the worst floods of depressing, suicidal thoughts every day of my life. It’s not once or twice, but constantly. I’m on pills that don’t work, and I’m unable to do anything as I have no motivation. I now have a wife and baby boy, but I don’t look at either with loving eyes. I just see shapes.

I want to be better and get better, but I don’t know how much longer I can take this.