My confession?

Why do I like her?
I’ve never even spoken to her, only that one time in the locker room when my lock fell and I made a dumb joke that wasn’t even funny. She laughed and my heart beat faster. Why is it that when the classroom door was locked and the teacher opened it for her, I found it cute when she laughed and said, “It was locked.” As if the class hadn’t known? I found that way too adorable. It makes no sense, the school year started only a month ago and that’s when I first saw her anyway. She’s taller than me, I found that surprising since I’m already above average height. Something about her feels off though, when I hear her talking and laughing with her friends it feels…forced. I want to befriend her, become close to her, I want to be someone who makes her laugh and cheers her up. I don’t know why. I was straight until I saw her. I was attracted, not by her looks, by something I can’t explain. I can never confess my feelings, for three reasons really. One, I’m in a family that would throw me out for my s********. Two, I have never really spoken to her, how would she believe I like her? Three, I don’t even know if she swings that way. Maybe she’d think I’m creepy, like I’m watching her from afar. I’m not though, I see her in Spanish and Gym. Her gym locker is coincidentally next to mine. Why is that? Why is my heart beating so fast as I type this? It’s not love, let’s not be cliché here. It’s a crush. Maybe it’ll fade. But I won’t forget the girl who made me realize my heart beat faster around her. Here’s my confession. Maybe you think it’s gross or wrong but I don’t even know why it happened. I really don’t.