I’m so scared all the time- I can never tell if you make me scared or I’m just always like this and all you do is reveal the fact that I’m terrified of myself and of you. I have nightmares where I get a call from you or from the police and I have to listen and know that there is nothing I could do to save you. I’m still convinced there is something I can do to save you. I think sometimes we shouldn’t have become friends, because sometimes I feel like I am toxic to you and you are toxic to me. I’m sorry. I really really need you to be okay