If I point the things my father could do better, he flares up.
If he points out the things I could do better but I don’t listen, he also flares up.
I was so disappointed for him breaking his promises most of the time, and tried to understand that he was busy and had work, but it happened so many times, that work and other events with friends came before promises with me. I “cannot” fault him for it but I feel so upset. I feel like I am not worth a promise.
I keep the things that make me upset inside for fear of being scolded. I say things carefully in front of my father for fear that I will be scolded. I feel so resentful. I feel like I am not being understood, that people treat this as a norm, that I feel this way.
Why is it always my fault, and never others? Am I never right? If I deny my thoughts, I feel like I am denying my needs.
When I do something I feel I made an effort in doing, people treat it as “something which should have been done”. It took me a lot of effort to do so. But at the end of the day, it’s just worth a small pebble in the eyes of those I deem important.
I don’t understand life. The more I try the more I get hurt. The more I feel that I can never succeed or do anything right. Anything which is thought by others is right, but mine is always wrong.