My wife is originally from overseas so anyway we’re ling in my hometown in an area I f***** detest. I mean I hate the place and the locals, they’re scum. My wifes only been here for 10 years, she thinks she knows the locale but reality check time if I say it’s a shithole then it’s a f***** shithole.

I was born here and I’ll be buried here, she’s a bit rose tinted and glasses. No Biach your not getting buried next to me in this f***** dump. I’m in two minds to send her back home, I’ll lose a major part of my life but at least I’ll save a life.

She’s all snuggled up in her blankie snoozing her head off like a cute little muffin, the evil part of me wants to bundle her back into a carpet and throw her on the first boat out of here. I’ve done far worse but I know it would kill me doing it.