I am in still in love with my former chemistry teacher. He’s 48 years old (I’m 17…) and married. I tried so f****** hard to erase these feelings, but it seems they were scribbled onto my heart in permanent marker, like the mistakes of some irresponsible two year old. Fitting, since I was scarily immature when I fell for him. Make no mistake: it’s not a crush. It’s not just lust. It’s not my desperation for attention. It’s not even obsession. I genuinely love this man, and would never risk doing anything to hurt him. Not anymore.
He’s a complicated man with a wonderful heart and soul, but horrible HORRIBLE people skills. Or teaching skills, for that matter. But when I see him with his little girls…. Or when he talks to me with his mask of weirdness cast aside…
Or smiles.
I am dead.
I have to go talk to him in the morning about recommendation letters. F****** hell.Wish me luck?
