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This is kinda disgusting so please dont read this if you cant handle these things I guess, it’s hard to put this in words but I’ve been deeply desensitized for a long time and it’s only gotten worse, I always crave more tho, gore wasnt enough, disturbing people wasnt enough, I wanted more. When I was 12 years old I went to discord, I searched up “map discord servers” map meaning minor attracted person, and I found a server called the hideout, there were a few other victims, nikki, kairo, and rory, and the main p******** ig he was very known in the server, his real name is Andrew bell. He was grooming all of us, everyone would carve his name in their thighs, send nudes, and the server is still up to this day, full of child p***. But those kids were near my age, boring, so I went to another server and offered my nudes to get links to child p*** and surprisingly it was very easy to gain access to it, I got telegram and joined a group chat, watched child p*** and often masturbated to it, but then I got banned. I went insane, nothing was enough, until I found this guy who went by the name seti. He introduced me to zangi, a texting app. He added me to a group chat called the garden of eden, I was declared the leader of it, “the sluttiest girl” but I soon got bored of the attention, the snuff films or toddlers, the screams, the puffy parts. It wasnt enough anymore. I was then desensitized to child p***, I deleted the app, not because I was scared or regretted it but because I needed storage on my phone, there was so much I didnt have space to use anything. So I deleted it, I still miss it and wonder if I should find them and go back down that rabbit hole again, I know I s*** but I am now 14 about to go to high school and I have no idea what I am anymore, I need something more.

There’s a young boy that lives next door and he stays with his mom and they’re divorced mother and his father and I had him over here the other day when we were just sitting here and watching TV before his mom got home and I asked him, has anybody ever maked you feel really good. And he said, no Asked him do you wanna feel good?And he said , sure
I told him , take off your pants and you’re underwear and just lay back. So he did just lay back, and I started sucking on his c*** and he got hard and came, he got off really good. I asked him he liked me sucking him off. I said, would you do that for me and said, sure, so I took off my pants and my underwear, and I got up and he started sucking on me, and made me c** and he swallowed everything I had. We have been doing this for the last 6 months, and we both been really getting off each other sucking on one another I asked him the other day, I said, you want to feel something different I and said sure i started f******** him I put my c*** inside him and slowly started f****** him. I told him that this is going hurt at first but you will get use to my c*** being inside of you. I started kissing him as my c*** got deeper inside him. I started to c** really hard as I was f****** deep. I asked if he was.ok and he said yes. So i had my slowly start penetrating me and got deeper and deeper inside me.And that’s when he really started f****** me , and he came so hard inside. I told him thank you for f****** lile that and we kissed for a bout a hour . The next day. He came over earlier and wanted me to f*** him good. So I did. I f*** him for two hours straight
I came imside him 5 times. Then he got on top of me and slowly got his.c*** as deep as he could and then started f*** me fast and then faster I could fell him c****** inside me so much. I was so full.of his c** and when he pulled out of me it went.everywhere. we noth just look at each other and started kissing. I told not to say anything to mo body can find this.out about us making love to each other. We did.it day im and day out . After that I told him i was.im love with him and he.said he felt the same way with me. I know its against the ball, but I still love him and I’m still gonna start f****** him every single day that we can and I’m gonna make love to him every single day.\nAnd he knows that he’s gonna do the same to me.