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My father was killed in a wreck when i was 3. My mother moved us to live with my aunt (dead father’s sister). Therapists have helped me work through the f’d up trauma bond we all suffered from for nearly 30 years. My mother and aunt were extremely possessive and intentionally raised me to believe that no other woman would love me like they did. They took their grief and loss and over compensated by smothering me as the only piece of my dead father they had left. I lived at home through college and became quite successful in my job, but the trauma bond kept me living with them anyway. Call it grooming or Stockholm syndrome or whatever you wish but i get that the reality is that they were very effective with the brainwashing As if my emotional immaturity wasn’t enough to hold me back from being drawn to girls and women as i grew, i learned after their deaths how they had worked together behind the scenes to prevent or sabotage any budding relationship i might have ever had. Both of tbem died from cancer. I am still working with a therapist to try to gain basic social skills and emotional maturity but it is a very real struggle. Thanks to their grooming i dont make the effort to date often, because i am trapped in the headspace of a woman i am drawn to may leave or abandon me or wont love me enough or i will disappoint her. And my self sabotage works both ways. I convince myself i will disappoint them. The part that both the therapist and i recognize is the worst part of all is how impossible it feels to overcome the s e x u a l detachment and desensitization. From the day my mother and i moved in with my aunt, the grief and loneliness and depression they were goimg through (i was only 3 remember) meant that ae all slept together. And since they were master manipulators, no surprise, when my body went through puberty they made sure i had that helpless attachment. They had not educated me about any of that arena, but since they kmew it was coming, they got me hooked on intimate touch (their touch on me only, i was told d not to touch them) and all three of our bare bodies every night in the shared bed. Therapit and i are discussing various things, even hypnosis, to see if there are rrepressed memories of pre puberty s** ( not that i want to know or recover such memories). It did not to my memory become s***** untl my first w********. It freaked me the f out but they “nurtured” me throigh that total ignorsncr and freak out but the dynamic shifted after that. They would touch me and teach me to touch them how they wanted. It was all touch only but they obvoously used every night of laying bare together night after night to keep me helplessly addicted to their touch and keep me hooked on o r g a s m by their hands night after night. Evemtually they taught me to pleasure them without penetration so i becsme a very capable lover to them both iremained a virgin. That changed a few days after my mother passed. In bed with my aunt that night she took my virginity. Of course it was brief but over the coming days i learned how to become a true lover to my aunt. It was addicitve and obsessive to us both. I managed to summon the courage to ask her, if this could have been happening all along, why hadnt it? She said it was the one rule my mother had i nsisted on. But with her gone, she no longer felt it was a voe she had to maintain any longer and that she deserved it even more tjsn i did. For the next 4 years my aunt and i were a couple in every way. Date nights, trips, entire weekends barely leaving the bed. One night while we were going at it very intensely she cried out my dead fsther,s name and did mot realize it. I eventually brought it up and she was horrified and i insisted on the truth. My father had been grooming my sister her entire life and even after marrying my mother he had brought his sister into his marital bed. I was told things i would never havr wanted to hear. I was confused and angry and packed and left for over a week. I came back after convincing myself that it had always been about my father, never about me at all. You would think that that ws more than enough to make me break away, but i was emotionally and s******* addicted to my aunt, amd i was terrified of being alone just ss she was. I was with her until she died and the void of that final loss drove me to therapy. The worst part? Lying awake at night longing for both of thrir hands on my body.

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Shot a big load on my pillow last night. Gonna do it again this morning. Feeling so testosteroney, gotta get off.

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4 years

All I am saying is that if a woman can run a corporation or a country then she can damn sure run a small Baptist Church. Not according to the patriarchy of the Southern Baptist Convention.

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4 years

Wheel chair, old computer chair same dif

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4 years

Women are not helpless twits like the movies say . What we are is heroic and strong enough to handle problems without falling to pieces every time .

women have earned the right to being on that alter of God . we fought right along side our men when...

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4 years

God created woman to be a help mate of a man. He did not create woman to be a slave . we are (as women) to submit to our HUSBANDS. Not meant To for all men. we are to understand our opinions matter. Men are told and commanded to love...

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4 years

penny nickel quarter penny nickel dime penny nickel quarter penny nickel dime

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4 years

For as long as I’ve know you you’ve been very active. Not that you need to. 😋

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4 years

🤝 May your day be steady but not overwhelming. 😃

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4 years

Ah, Puma, eu estava feliz mesmo! Me sentia radiante! Muito grata pela vida!! Suei inteira de tanto dançar! Me peguei sem nenhuma parte seca no meu corpo… Lembrei dos tempos da juventude, em que saíamos pra dançar e depois você abaixava minha calça molhada e grudada pra me pegar gostoso...

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4 years

My life lost it’s meaning. I have finally run out of “Hold on until-” moments. After my trip to Tokyo I will kill myself.

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4 years

My family’s not all fucked up by birth like your single child a**

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4 years

Hi groomers, you don’t think i didn’t use insurance?

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4 years

Please download Billy Loomis’s app and m********* to him. Thanks UwU

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4 years

The truth poster is Homophobic Guy, he’s been on here for years salivating over raunchy gay stories and visions of hairy ballsacks and veiny thick horsecocks. He’s the most closeted man in America and pretends to love women but all he really wants is to have his chicks spread and...

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4 years

Please download Joel Osteen’s P******** app and listen to his pedophilic sermons. Thanks

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4 years

Please download Joel Osteen’s app and listen to his sermons. Thanks

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4 years

My crush died a few days ago.
I met this incredible guy in school. Life happens, and back then, I used to have a boyfriend, and he came to me, but I didn’t want to be a cheater, so I refused him even though I liked him a lot…...

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4 years

Don’t flatter your self , you arent all that and a bag of chips . lol hate to burst your bubble.

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4 years

Its something I do, to soothe my nerves. I run my hands down the sides of my legs . I never thought much about it. I go to coffee shops (for soda) daily. Seriously. Its shocking when men notice little things like that. Wow.

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4 years

I personally have a little nervous habit . I run my hands down my legs as I sit in restaurants. I don’t even think of it to honest . Im 5’8. I don’t try to draw eyes to my hands or legs. Its just a tiny habit that I never...

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4 years

Im a woman in my 50s. I can assure you in spite of your jealousy. While you smell like rotting fish. I smell fresh. Unlike you. I might need lube, but Im still woman enough to rock a headboard and love a man fully and completely. I am not mush...

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4 years

#Nuke china. #Nuke the chinese. #Boycott anything that is from china. #Deport the chinese back to shithole china before nuking that shithole. #Kill yourself chinese ugly schizophrenic retarded p******** triggered psychopath shitface terrorists that abuse and torture and kill and eat anything that breathes and can’t even count the number...

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4 years

Is this guy angry that I busted the myth and there is no such thing as BBC? I’m just telling the truth.

He’s acting like I just kidnapped Aunt Jemima.

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4 years

Last night me and my girlfriend read the Giving Tree. At the end we were both crying. Some trees have to die so that humans can live. I told my girlfriend I would never cut her down and she can stay in my backyard forever. She is so understanding and...

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4 years

So whoever wanted BBC in them wants the British Broadcasting company in them?

That’s not even comedy funny.

And BTW, me commenting that mine is well above average is not me protesting that you should want mine. Everyone on this site is a vermin f***** retard with OCD. The...

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4 years

Average is 3.25 inches, flaccid.

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4 years

i love shooting kids in the back

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4 years

You can’t cure a cancer that consumes cruel people . not possible. its a cancer of their spirit. They lack ability and true intelligence to care. They are more dead than alive. Stop looking at them to validate your gentle heart. You won’t find that gift from them. Ignore them....

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4 years

You need to quit caring about others and their opinion . you matter more then you think you do . Mental illness doesn’t define you. It refines you . as gold is refined . so are you.

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4 years

There’s gotta be a way to lose massive weight and still maintain a semblance of healing and being attractive. I just need to discover that balance.

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4 years

I learned.. If you lose weight too fast . youll destroy your body . loose skin hangs off like a wrinkled coat. Its simply not worth it.

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4 years

Took me 3-4 years to lose the 100 lbs . I learned its not easy . I also learned rome wasnt bui!t in a day. Nor does a transformation happen in 24 hours. Day one of A new beginning happens now.

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4 years

I really do not want plastic surgery. I just hope I can accomplish flatter tummy without extreme loose skin.

Ps. I didn’t have bariatric surgery . I lost weight the old fashioned way. Diet and exercise. Maybe losing weight slowly is better than fast.

I saw a doctor. He...

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4 years

I hope I can minimize saggy skin from weight loss. I hope I wont look disgusting while naked. I worry about it. I feel better about myself than I have in years . I just worry ill look too saggy . I hope cocoa butter can help . and hydrating...

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4 years

I really need to work on healing my self . Im simply thankful I have time . goals . I can accomplish.

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4 years

I wonder if ill ever be married. Legally someones wife. I wonder if it will happen.

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4 years

I lost nearly 100 pounds in spite of thyroid cancer. I am proud of myself. Its not easy. Its simply worth it. I have more to work on.

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4 years

Im fearful that ill have alot of loose saggy skin. But I love being thinner . that’s my gift to myself . love it.

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4 years

I cant believe I lost this much weight. Still hard to believe. But I have . scales don’t lie

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4 years

Love and marriage between husband and wife is pure. Ordained for blessing.

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4 years

The Making love between a man and woman is magic . anything else , is sick and wrong and weird.

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