How do trees access the internet? They log in.

if i ever meet jeremiah i’ll f****** blow his bald head in with my fist

What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.

Where do you learn to make banana splits? At sundae school.

What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.

What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.

Where do cows go for entertainment? The mooooo-vies!

Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

Meeting you will always be my favorite memory, but you being a memory will always break my heart.

You want me to come back to you?

Went to ikea yesterday for some home renovation inspiration and got to chatting with one of the sales guys from the bedroom furniture area and we really hit it off.
If we’d met in the pub I’d’ve taken him home and smashed him for a whole weekend.
Only...

I wish

Yes yes I am😂

That sounds like a black person statement.

Just put of curiosity, are you black?

You know what’s really good? Taco night.

* Morten replied shyly.

When he found out that Ingrid was better, Morten cried with relief. At the exit from the hospital, he was met by his two sisters-in-law, who said that his wife had sent them to look for him. To everyone’s surprise, the nurse turned to Morten and said, “Your wife is...

But I don’t believe women should be in the kitchen, I would never say that. I also would not never date or get with a woman who could not carry herself as well or better than I can.

I just don’t want a whole bunch of them around me at...

Drive safe. 🤝

I felt like a I had a stroke reading that.
What are you saying?
Yes. You are ducking mean to me.
I’ve been trying to contact you and apologize. You just won’t except it.
I would f*** off if you just messaged me.
I am...

Why are you so mean?
What drives you to be so abusive?
Do you need something?
I feel crazy trying to be a good person and make amends but YOU won’t let that happen. Why?
So you like making me suffer? Is that your kink??...

barbies are kinda sus ngl

It’s not you, indeed my name is not you.

How salty!
I know it’s not you ☕

I have a small favor to ask of you.
Will you pretty please update your FB pic. 😁

Oh yes!! 😁

Any other Pluviophiles here???

Travel

Rural

Shoot dem in da back

WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES WHITES

If I caught my Pappy doing that I’d probably disown him.

Get mad, get so angry, steal a bike, pointing your poop covered fingernails at her, it’s like your stupid enough to continue down a path to blacks turning you out in a dark cell for penny’s b*** smuggled pot

The pedos finally caught looking over the fence, the wife’s distant. Life’s still good over in the covenant. Did one of you witch’s cast a spell?👹

Another Latino ready for the draft.

random thoughts, feel targeted, not yet sure for what, maybe just something simple, a scam. thinking about blue. sorry to you. loud surroundings and not many roads to take. small world. a friend sure, don’t really talk much anymore. well then, what’s a friend? I wonder. I really can’t blame...

Have you been to the carnival? I would like to see you.