first prime, then ultra magnus, and now YOU! its a pity you autobots die so easily or i might have a sense of satisfaction.
-Lord Galvatron
When I was around nine or ten years old, I had a best friend—let’s call her Macy. My dad and her parents were close friends, and so when my dad had to go for a week for something job related, her family invited me to stay with them. Me agreed and that was almost the best week of my life, until… Macy had a different house close to our town, so it was like day four or five, and they invited me over to their other house. Her aunt also had a house in that small town, and so Macy and her big brother—let’s call him Theo—wanted to go to their aunt’s and of course I came along. Me and Macy were painting, and she wanted me to clean the paintbrushes while she went out to get food, so I made a mistake by not knocking before entering the bathroom—I thought no one else was home—and inside was Macy’s aunt’s boyfriend, he was finishing zipping up his pants. I apologized, but he shrugged it off and said I could use the sink since he was already leaving, but he didn’t. He started feeling up my b***, and I just stood there in front of the sink, frozen because I was stunned. I was only like ten, what the hell was I supposed to do? He began asking me if I did gymnastics because he said I had a nice b***. I stayed quiet, but then he spun me around and started to kiss me…with tongue. Ew. I was only TEN. He was like thirty. I didn’t open my mouth though, I stayed frozen. I wanted to push him away but I was afraid that’d make the situation worse. When he pulled away he said that the kiss was only ‘friendly’. Friendly my a**, he was a p********! I finally ran off, I didn’t even know the town, but anywhere was better than in that house. By some miracle, I managed to find Macy, but I didn’t tell her what happened—I thought I did, but when I told her years later, she swore I didn’t, but I know I did, because he came to my birthday gathering the next year because Macy threw me a surprise party with close friends. She invited her aunt who brought her boyfriend, and Macy told me to not pay much attention to him—and I just stayed by her the entire time. I know something else happened between me and that pervert, but I don’t remember what he did to me because it was ages ago, and I’m glad I’m forgetting about it because that’s f****** disgusting. I texted Macy’s mom to ask her if we were staying over at their aunt’s house that night, it was the best news I’ve ever heard when she said ’no’.
Instead of going to old drippingquills there is a new Dripping quills forum out in the by the way pink and purple look like a crybaby thing, especially when the old dripping quills were toxic behavior. Lucky I made a new song for amagicpianoforum will be released later today.
I wish I had sᴇx with a married professor I work with. I’ve already tried ᴀɴᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ with my fiancé. I’d scream so hard for the professor. I wouldn’t be a homewrecker, I just want to be his lover and nothing else. He’s 45 and I’m 28.
love love love this one: What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A roamin’ Catholic.
What snack should you make for the Snowman Holiday Party? Ice Krispy Treats
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? They said she was over-koala-fied.
What did the flower say after it told a joke? I was just pollen your leg.
I dedicate this to: (I plead the 5th) Why did Superman flush the toilet? Because it was his doody.
What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on!
What does every birthday end with? The letter Y.
What does bread do on vacation? Loaf around.
What does a book do in the winter? Puts on a jacket.
What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs.
Love this: What happened when the skunk was on trial? The judge declared, “Odor in the court, odor in the court!”
How do pickles enjoy a day out? They relish it.
“Adorable” What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon? “I Apollo-gize.”
Why was the computer cold? It had a virus.
What has lots of leaves but never actually grew? A book!
Where do fish keep their money? In the River-Bank!
What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
LOVE THIS: Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
Where do homosexuals keep their money? Sperm banks.
Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencil-vania.
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
HAPPY belated ST. PATRICKS DAY What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
Where do vampires keep their money? A blood bank.
LOVE THIS ONE: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
Which city does Paw Patrol like the most? New Yorkie.
How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!
What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
PERSONAL FAVORITE: How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
How do baby cats learn how to swim? The kitty pool.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you
What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.
What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow!
What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? About a buck an ear.
Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her parents were in a jam.
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!