Years ago. My first gf ans i were never physical, she was hot for some other guy. Second gf claimeemd my virginity only because she wanted to trap a man with pregnancy. Thank god it wasnt me. 3rd gf, which this is about rode quarter horses and trained them with her father. I went to many shows with them that they both rode in. To me horses are simply huge dogs with funny legs. As time passed she would only engage in “s**” with me by straddling me for mutually clothed dry h******. It happened more and more frequently but whenever i would get too grabby (even t throigh clothes) she would freeze. I was at their horse farm commonly on weekends. One day i was watcbing her barrel ride and i realized holy s*** she is showing her o r g a sm face. I knew it well enough because i had seen it often enough as she ground on me during the dry h******. I started paying closer attention and even during a show event, her control and ability with the horse would be less and worse during her ride. I was seeing thst same face often and realized why for someone who rode constantly she was always a bit wobbly on her legs after most rides. I noticed more and more. The big thing was the way she would stare whenever a horse was displaying his p****. It was so blatant i could not believe i had not noticed before. She would always be present during a live breeding of the farm’s horses and would watch when a stallion was milked for sale. I started realizing that when she would go for a clothed dry himp ride on me that her eyes were alway closed and i realized where her mind was when she rode me clothed. And dont get me wrong i have plenty to ride even through clothes. I atarted realizing that this was not going to last especially when she always disappeared when i was helping her father muck stalls. I finally got a chance to confirm my suspicions. I was usually sleeping on her parents sofa when i was there. One night i was still asleep in the dark of the room and i aaw her quietly sneak out, walked right by me. I lay there uncertain. Needing to know but not wanting to know. I made my decision and quietly snuck out myself knowing the answer when i saw the faint glow of a light in the barn. I remained quiet and was numbed by the answer. She was kneeling n*** under one of the farm’s breeding stallions with both hands stroking his p****. I watched both sick and fascinated. She did not do anything but stroke him and rub his organ all over her face. When he released it was massive and violent and she let it spray all over her bare body. The real shock was that she stayed right there when seconds after he emptied is bladder. She was soaked and the still air of the barn reeked of his fluids. And still i watched hidden in the shadows quietly as she stayed on her knees m*********** furiously with one hand while gripping his dripping flesh and continuing to rub it all over her face and breasts. When she finally rose to her feet and stepped over by the water hose i moved and said her name. She looked horrified but not apologetic if that makes sense. I walked to her and took the hose and held it aimed for her as we got her cleaned up. Helped her get back into her clothes. It waa all so surreal that it was only when i was tossing and turning awake trying to sleep again on the sofa, barely even registering that this was the first time i had even seen her bare bidy. All she had said was to please not say anything and we would talk the next morning. We did so on a long walk around the farm. She said she did not know where to start. I told her perhaps i couls make it simple, and relayed that i had actually learned about s** from the famly dogs when i was 15. She looked a little disgusted and asked howni had beem motivated to r*** a dog….obvious hypocrisy…and i said that it started with male dog expanded to female dog and had been primarily male dogs only, none of it forced, and had only penetrated dogs twixe, both female, i did not like how it felt to do so. At that point she opened up a little admitting she had started with male dogs but it was rare any more that what i saw was her primary act. More silence, but eventually the topic came back. I told her i understood and had no problem with it, that she already knew i found s** with people scary. That i understood how free of anxiety it was. Told her she did not need to fear me saying anything , thatni understood how it ends up feeling comfortable and natural without stresses. Bi only asked that she be cautious because of the sheer strength of a horse, and to not let herself get caught. She seemed surprised by my non jealous reaction, evem more so when i asked her if we needed to suspend what we were doing. She said no, it would seem more comfortable now that i knew and accepted it. I realized long after the xloud of love that i was signing up for being a cuckold to a horse. The next time we were at the farm she woke me quietly and had me walk to the barn with her, asking if i would be wiliing to be the lookout. We got to the barn, she chose the same stallion, and i watched as if detached from it as she, my gf, stripped naked and began was was foreplay for her, rubbing her bare skin against his pelt, fondling his emormous t e s t i cles, finally again eventually kneeling under him doing precisely what i had recently seen. It was shockingly e***** and without discussion i disrobed and distractedly began to m********* as i watched. I was surprised that she offered a hand toward me to join her. Everything was slow motion and surreal again. She eventually took my hands and put on him, even eventually rubbing his organ against my oen face and chest, and this time we were mutuslly drenched by him, b a l l s and bladder, and helping each other clean up after taking turns with the hose. As if by ourselves indiviidually, we both masturbated as we reveled in the sheer intoxication of it. We walked back after re dressing, holding hands, and before i returned to the sofa she hugged and thanked me for beng with her and being able to enjoy it with her. It became “normal” and common in the weeks affter and i relaized that she lost interest in even dry h****** with me. We talked thru it and hit the platonic point. Evem agreeing to continue to present as a relationship despite it being only two zoophiles. Granted she was getting more out of this than i was. Not like sbe was holding a mares head for me. It devolves into simoly an animal lust/kink for me. One night she asked if i would do things with the stallion and let her watch for a while, and after she said that it looked like it was my preferred form of s**. I told her no, i missed even our dry humps, but she meant a lot to me and this was the only form of s** i had available. She took it more negatively than it was intended. Over the next few days she brought up whether i was willing to help as she wanted to take her time with the stallion forther or at lease explore it. So eventually i was her safety.monitor and assistant with gradual exploration of the stallion with her mouth, and evem eventually helping her lay on a olatform as the stallion was led to a false mount used for stud s e m en collection and she experienced limited penetration by him. My hands managed to provide enough stimulation that she experoenced his release imside her. The entirety of the ezperiencea was beautifully e*****, and simply a distant set of memories evetually.

honestly i dont love him, nor anybody in that case. my heart races and everything feels right but i always feel so shallow about them. i dont date for a breakup but ever since my last relationship i just stopped trying in general