I’m not okay b***
Christine hugged me, and I fell to the floor. It was all a dream. I had been in love, and yet, I don’t know if there really ever was love in the first place. ..
What do you call ticks in space? Luna-ticks.
What’s an avocado’s favorite kind of music? Guac and roll!
What did Venus say to Saturn? Give me a ring.
What is an astronaut’s favorite meal of the day? Launch.
What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk.
What do you call a space magician? A flying saucerer.
How did the blonde die ice fishing? She was hit by the zamboni
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Poke him on.
Are you a cheetah? No, you lion!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Which table fits in the fridge? VegeTABLE.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrgh!
Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boos.
Why is it impossible to starve in the desert? Because of all the sand which is there!
all those times you slept. I was up for 2-3 hours waiting for you, and I waited 13 hours for you to wake up. Only for you to tell me you were up for four full hours, ..
Why did the birthday boy wrap himself in paper? He wanted to live in the present.
What do you call someone who doesn’t like carbs? Lack-Toast Intolerant.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
What do you call a musician with problems? A trebled man.
I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
I like elephants. Everything else is irrelephant
What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.
Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
That “thing” that crawled into you is causing your hate to drip. Something is very wrong in you . you need to deal with your demons . quit giving them ..
Or he might be fat. Not that it matters. That kind of dripping hate is demonic. It Has no true gender.
You really are sick. Nazi be damned . juicy is better at fighting. Get it through your very little pea brain. You are nothing to anyone.
Why r u sooo full of hate ? R u hungry for more of that dripping hate you are spilling ? If so? Maybe its time to put you on a new diet. One full of love. Because ..
Instead of being a b**** , why not help someone that is overweight. Instead of your being the problem, why not try being the solution? Sometimes, a single person ..
Fatties can’t bend sideways, i think it’s suffice to say they cannot properly warsh right due to this fact alone.
When is a door not a door? When it is ajar
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
if i ever meet jeremiah i’ll f****** blow his bald head in with my fist