I’ve been with her for 6 years. She thinks we have $10k saved for our dream home. It’s all in my name. She trusts me completely.

That account has been empty for over two years.

It started with a job loss. Then health problems. Then just… keeping up appearances. I took out credit card after credit card to maintain our “normal” life. She doesn’t know any of them exist. She doesn’t know we have nothing. Zero. Actually worse than zero.

Last week we found the house. She cried happy tears. We agreed to contact the bank. They’ll run my credit. They’ll see the maxed cards, the actual debt, the missing down payment. Probably mid-next week.

I love her so much it physically hurts. And I’m about to destroy her trust completely.

If you’re reading this and thinking about starting a small lie to protect someone you love – don’t. I thought I’d fix it before it mattered. Years went by. It always, always comes out. The longer you wait, the more catastrophic the reveal.

I’ve failed. I’m just sitting here waiting for my entire life to collapse, and I deserve every piece of it. She doesn’t deserve any of it but I just.. don’t know what to say or do. I don’t imagine there being any way out of this mess as this would literally require some sort of monetary miracle and help from strangers as I couldn’t phantom this anonymous letter becoming recognizable that it is me. I did set up anonymous monero wallet for the i guess one in million chance that someone sees that I am not a bad person and I want to fix this, but right now I just can’t do anything 🙁 The wallet if anyone is curious: 8AqXjsuHnzWaxGaEYoV37Scm1tgougkASbKjUDvzcVF9ctgXfsiRWivcwF6Dbb2F63BzW3xdPyxiNNSh63FUuV1PCrJS5Zj

I have been licking pu ssy since I was about four or five. I licked three different pu ssies by the time I was seven.

My babysitter would put a towel on the chair, take off her pan ties and have me lick her bun while she watched TV or chatted on the phone. Eventually she would moan and groan as she clim axed and then she’d say, “Stop, stop, or that’s a good boy”. She gave me a piece of candy as a reward. She started me around 5 yrs old. I think she was about 12 but it’s difficult to remember.

She would take me up to bed and she’d rub my co ck. She examined my co ck and my balls and then washed them. She’d soap them up, rinse them and dry everything. She toyed with my co ck and balls until I had a or gasm even though I was too young to eja culate. Then I would lick her until she moaned and groaned and she said, “Stop, stop”. She’d give me a peppermint and put the plastic wrapper in her pocket so mom didn’t find it because I wasn’t supposed to have candy.

She’d put her pa nties back on and lay next to me on my bed, put an extra blanket over herself and we’d fall asleep together. Mom would come home and find me asleep in bed and she thought the babysitter was the most attentive and best in the world.

A year or so later the babysitter brought her older sister along. I think she was about 14. She would take my pants down and toy with my co ck and balls. She made me bend over and get on all fours so she could see my ball sac from behind and she thought that was cute. She took a few pics of me.

Then she’d take off her pa nties and she was always glistening wet. She’d sit back and relax on the towel and tell me to lick it like a lollipop as she pointed to her cli toris. She would show me a lollipop and tell me I could have it after I finished licking.

Sometimes she put me laying on the floor and then squat over me because she liked being licked all the way, back to front. She would moan and say, “Oh, oh, ooooh” and then she’d push me away. She’d run to the bathroom, maybe to p e e. She’d come back and toss the lollipop to me, say ‘good boy’ and she’d put on her pa nties and leave. Her sister stayed with me and continued babysitting me.

By the time I was about 7 there were three pu ssies that I licked. I serviced my babysitter, her older sister and a girlfriend of theirs named Elaine. She was the oldest, probably 16, 17 or so. She had a very hairy, furry bun but it was always neatly trimmed as if she spent a lot of time keeping it neat. She always said to train them while they are young. I think she was talking about training me to lick her pu ssy just the right way to give her an intense clim ax.

Elaine called me the French tongue. I had no idea of what that meant. I licked her front to back and she spasmed, moaned and gave me candy. She moaned the loudest, she squirmed the most. She loved it and she came by often to get licked. I was too aloof, too stupid and unaware to understand that I was licking pu ssy which older boys lusted for.

All I knew was that they had an interest in making sure my co ck and balls were washed and clean and they gave me candy. Getting my co ck washed and rubbed felt good and the candy was sweet. They were happy, very happy and I was happy and mom was delighted with their dedication to babysitting.

Elaine got pics of me too. I later developed a friendship with her. She taught me all about s e x. I had my very first eja cul ation in Elaine’s hand. She went off to college. I saw her and licked her regularly her when she got back. However she had a boyfriend she met at college and she got married. I wanted to marry her but the age difference was too great.