It’s like shitt and strawberry shortcake Randy 🍰

-Mr Lahey from Trailer Park boys

I miss Jason more and more every day. He’s the only person that can motivate me into anything. On low energy days I used to pretend I was doing things for him in order to get them done. Imagining him praise me and give me the next task got me...

Two names,
one goal.
Black Mask terrifies the city,
Roman Sionis rescues it.

Roman Sionis aka the black mask

Damn right im gonna rev my chainsaw in your fucken ear Nico🗣business gets personal when you fuc with bob

-Bob The Builder

Ill show you a magic trick ✨️
I can stick this wand up your asz!

Roger Newman aka Ken Miracle

I feel like I wasn’t taught how to go through life, and going forward it feels like everyone i ask for help hears me tell them I’m in a hole and instead of helping me out of it they misjudge the depth of the hole and say “you got this,...

“You can’t kill what you can’t wound…”

“Chuck Norris”

He didnt say that… i did 🤡🤡🤡

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...

Meet local girls in your area > 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌𝐄.𝐂𝐎𝐌

I’m in literal agony watching my life pass me by one day at a time, knowing I have missed the boat on having a relationship with a woman. I’m nearly 40 with no relationship experience, which is enough of a red flag, but I’m also too shy. I will never...

I come before you today humbled and humiliated …
to ask you for one thing….
I want you to kill Peter Parker (Spider-Man)

Eddie Brock/Venom 3

I cried my eyes out for you again last night. this year is very hard. and its getting harder by the day.

The former Deputy Director of the Metropolitan Separate School Board can talk bad about me all he wants (even if he’s now dead). But I know about what his deceased son did. In March of 1999, his now deceased son was caught stealing VCRs from the Honeydale Walmart! How do...

Dumped, no second chances, even friendships are taken from me 1nona1

The former Deputy Director of the Metropolitan Separate School Board can talk bad about me all he wants (even if he’s now dead). But I know about what his deceased son did. In March of 1999, his now deceased son was caught stealing VCRs from the Honeydale Walmart! How do...

The former Deputy Director of the Metropolitan Separate School Board can talk bad about me all he wants (even if he’s now dead). But I know about what his deceased son did. In March of 1999, his now deceased son was caught stealing VCRs from the Honeydale Walmart! How do...

I felt like I was being burned alive. From the bottom of my heart: F*** off.

Do you see that keychain on my hip?I sliced off the ear of your father when he couldn’t pay for his Easter photos at the mall last year.

Mall Easter bunny FML

Lofty — grab my Diablo Nailgun from Lowes, theres a commie coming our way to negotiate our drywall installation prices. Let nail that fuckker to his own drywall.

-Bob The Builder.

This has been one of the worst years in a long time. Im praying for some relief. and happiness.

this looks small but in person its really big (holds a model of a B2 aircraft)

-Retarded Donald Trumpet

It’s sad to see how someone easily forgets you. Ramirez.alondra1. I guess some people are just forgettable.

Why is it when I try to move forward, something always pulls me back? Whatdid I ever do to deserve these things I cannot control. Why me?

i was standing over a niggga with an egg like im gonna crack em.

-Evil Easter Bunny 🐰

Could you imagine cleaning the home depot toilets?
that nightmare is my fucken life you sh*thead contracter

-Jeeves the creepy Janitor.

rippa nigggas n***** ring out and wear it on my chains ⛓️-

Santasquad100

I pray the year gets better. Its hard to stay optimistic.

That women seeing her son dancing in lingerea, no worries. Boys get so turned on wearing girl under clothes, my son does he’s a horn dog. Lol.

5 more hours, 6 morre drinks
I’m gonna drink till it’s 6in the am
That’s how we do it in the dirty Dublin.

Irish Alcoholic Assholes

The last thing I remember was a beer bottle to the back of the head…

Irish Alcoholic Assholes

I miss you so much. Why does it hurt so much 2 years later? I thought I would forget you by now!!!

A good boss would have said “Everybody will be inculed in the department celebration or it won’t happen.” that’s how I knew you were a sickening hypocrite.

my shovel doesnt like your face, we can change that with a few wacks of the steel frame.
Im gonna bend my shovel on your skull Timotee

-Bob The Builder

iM gonna fucken scoop your eyeballs out with a spoon and eat them with a fork 🍴 get cha in the neck with a meat pick.

-Jacob Goodnight.

I’m at a point in my life where I need to get pregnant or deal with never having kids. I do want kids, I just worry about who to have them with. I could do this with my bf, we’ve been together for like over 14 years. But I know...

iM gonna fucken scoop your eyeballs out with a spoon and eat them with a fork 🍴 get cha in the neck with a meat pick.

-Jacob Goodnight.

Kylie from Scotland you are pretty….
Pretty….. drunk…. I am…..

*smashes a bottle on the bittches head* and she hits the floor

Irish Alcoholic Assholes

I miss you Angel……Please appear to me again.

Do you want to see a meteor shower? take a look at what Dimitry left you in the toilet, Howard Wolowitz.

The Big Bang Theory quotes

Johnny hatte stinkenden Scheiß auf seinem Schwanz, als er sich den Hintern von hinten nach vorne abwischte 😂

mos likly ima di wit my nikka on da trikka

-Rich Homie Quan