I love you, and I want to stay with you, but at the same time I don’t. I thought I had forgiven you and moved on from what happened but now I’m not so sure. I think deep down I want you to f*** up so I have an excuse to leave. So the decision can be made for me. It’s not that I don’t love you. You’ve damaged our marriage to the point of breaking, and I just don’t know anymore. I keep hoping if I stay that it’ll get better, that I’ll get better. I don’t know what to do. I feel stuck in a catch 22. Like if I stay or go I’ll regret it either way. And I can’t say any of this to your face because I told you I was here to stay and that I’d let go of my anger and forgave you, and I told others that too; I believed it at the time. So now I don’t have anyone to talk to. I hate my life. I wish I could do it all over again.
