I love Sabeel… whether that be right or wrong, hes there right there, lodged in my brain and stuck in my heart. Oh how I wish for him to vanish and leave me be for my sanity. God knows I’ve prayed. But if hes not here today, not beside me now, how will he ever be? I need him now more than I have ever needed anyone. No, it doesn’t make sense. No, he didn’t care to be so much as a friend. And yes, he will find someone that he’ll come to care for more, someone he’ll come to love. But right there, right then and back then 10.03.2011.. He’d have not found anyone that cared as much as I did. He can look for all he wants, he’ll not find another me that will care so much! We make mistakes, we all make the dam things called mistakes!! But thats what we do in life, we live and we learn. I just want you here right now, just to get my closer. I just want to be able to live without out you, I want to be able to move forward withouth you tugging at the strings of my heart. Please allow me that, allow me the gift of moving on from you! Let go! Let go, I need to move on Sabeel. I have to let you go. You know the world has a way of things comming out, the cards always play out and one day you’ll know what I felt and how pure it was. It was not tainined it was not unclean, for what I felt for you was just a beautiful dream. Where are you? When are you going to return that small piece of my heart that you hold! When? I need it back to go on. I wish you all the best in what ever you do. It is my hearts prayer that all you touch turns to gold and that maybe just maybe our paths should cross again. But for now, right here, it hurts to care, it hurts to wait for you it hurts to just sit there day after day and hope. Don’t take away my hope. I need it. Don’t take it from me. For me, do this for me, let me go… Sabeel let me go.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
