I love you Nathan.
More than anything.
You’re depressed because circumstances are keeping you and her apart.
You don’t realize I feel the same way you do.
Only it’s different, because I knew you first.
I loved you first.
And you never loved me.
But you can cry over her and wait for her, whatever you want.
Just know that I’ll do the same…
Cry for you, wait for you…
love you with everything I have.
Some say that I’m young, that I’ll forget all about you.
But even my mom, normally a skeptic of the validity of teenage “love”
thinks that you’re going to ALWAYS be the guy I’d leave anyone for.
Not even she thinks I’ll ever find it in my heart to forget about you.
I don’t care what people say.
I may be young, but what I feel is real.
You are the only one for me. You’re the only one who makes me feel anything anymore.
You’re the one who has made me into everything I am.
I am different, better for having met you, for having loved you.
I just wish you could see this, could read it anonymously and suspect it to be me
To know deep down that it really is
so I don’t have to ruin everything by telling you.
I know it’s not what you want to hear.
And I’ll ruin any chance I may have by dropping it on you while you’re so wrapped up in her.
But if you could see this, the only identifying mark a number, it would be ok.
Because if you don’t want to hear it at all, your mind won’t let you realize that this is me, talking about you.
But if there’s any chance at all, if your heart and mind could handle it… you would know… and do with it what you will.
Again, with all my heart and soul, I love you Nathan.
And if you want her, if she’s what makes you happy, don’t you dare let her go.
I’d rather live an eternity alone than to be the one who wishes happiness from you.
I would never ever hurt you. I would rather die than cause you pain.
You are my heart, my soul, my everything, my best friend.
If only you knew…
