• 12 months ago
  • 0 0

Everyone thinks I’m this beautiful, smart, perfect person but I’m not. I act extremely positive in front of everyone and smile and laugh too much but little do they know that every night I cry myself to sleep because of my depression. It won’t fucking go away, and I always try to hide it so nobody knows but I can never truly be as happy as I act. My teachers love me, they say I’m an extremely positive force and that I’m a flawless student but I’ve always felt like they despise me for being an awkward lil bitch. And my friends think I’m awesome and smart and pretty and all that stuff. I want to believe them. I really do. But I’m extremely insecure and I’ve never been able to fully accept my bisexuality. It’s a big part of why I’m so broken inside… I’ve been hurt by so many people and it’s left a massive scar. And the worst part? My best friend is breaking down and she thinks I’m an insensitive braniac with a perfect life but that’s not even close to the truth. She says I’m not helping her and she wants to move away even though I beg her not to and I try to tell her things will get better and she needs to stick around. She doesn’t believe me. She doesn’t completely accept me either. I’m a depressed mess and I hate it. Please. End my suffering. I honestly want someone to give me a long, warm hug and tell me everything will be fine. I’m trying my best but it’ll never be enough.

All Comments

  • So sorry to hear your suffering, but I (and others) do hear it. You are a good, fine person, just the way you are. Depression is a very difficult creature – don’t be shy about trying a psychiatrist or psychologist – there are some really effective therapies these days (both medical/rx and non-drug like CBT). And don’t necessarily feel like you have to act happy all the time – it’s ok to be honest about not feeling good. There will be some people who won’t accept that or accept you for who you are, and that’s painful, but there will also be people who will. Good luck and well wishes.

    Anonymous March 15, 2019 12:18 am Reply
    • Thank you. God bless your soul 🙂

      Anonymous March 15, 2019 12:45 am Reply
  • U sound like a girl I used to know, look I honestly hope you get better! try keeping yourself grounded by surrounding yourself with people who love you, I mean truly love and support you. Someone used to tell me that you have to treat yourself like you would treat your bestfriend who’s feeling sad, that went a long way for me, our thoughts can be the worst at times, don’t ever listen to them. Find things that make you happy, weather if it’s dancing, art, whatever it is. As far as your bestfriend communicate with her about how you feel and always try to be there for her, just love her as much as you can, try loving yourself too, I know it’s easier said then done, but really filter out everything negative, look at the little things at are beautiful, focus on those things. As far as the whole bisexual stuff, it’s always hard, accepting it, it’ll take time and I can’t say it’ll be easy, take it easy on yourself, remember that there’s nothing wrong with you, fuck anyone who tells you otherwise. – Hope this helps u, luv yah.

    Anonymous March 15, 2019 1:32 am Reply

      Anonymous March 15, 2019 1:34 am Reply
      • Thank you so much. You’ve made me feel so much better and I luv ya too 🙂

        Anonymous March 15, 2019 3:59 am Reply
  • Somehow i relate to this so much. I hoep the best to you. And find solace that someone somewhere is going through this together. Lets both get out of this shithole together.

    Anonymous March 15, 2019 6:32 am Reply
  • I relate to so much of how you feel – different situations. I just want a fucking hug. It’s hard putting on this front to not let others in… to see the side we only see when we are alone; the imperfect side. However, a day happens where you break, and you feel like you cannot go to anyone for help because of your external image that you have set to others. I just go in a closet and cry. Come back and tackle the day. I m not sure how this is supposed to be, but I am just one person in a massive sea.

    Anonymous March 15, 2019 1:12 pm Reply

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