I feel like a lazy sack of s*** because im always so damn tired everything is exhausting when you have to fight your brain everyday trying to get rid of the thoughts telling you to cut yourself, kill yourself, throw up, burn yourself, and tell you what an utter s*** waste of space excuse of a human being you are from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep if you /do/ get sleep and then be told that your not trying hard enough that it’s your fault you feel this way and you should just magically change your mood like you choose to be miserable and want to f****** kill yourself everyday even when your happy and everything is going good. its even more exhausting pretneding everything is fine and your fine because your moms words ring in you ears “no one will like you if your always so negative” “no one wants to hear about that” “this is why you dont have any friends” “talking like that will make you end up alone” because you know she’s f****** right cause anytime you open up even just a little people always leave no one wants to f****** hear it. no one cares. everyone leaves. and i know its my fault. why can’t i just like myself and be happy. why can’t i like myself?
