I don’t feel whole. As of late I haven’t been feeling the same compared to how I was juts a couple of months ago. Somewhere and I don’t know when I

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I don’t feel whole.
As of late I haven’t been feeling the same compared to how I was juts a couple of months ago. Somewhere and I don’t know when I started to feel like this, but I don’t feel whole. It’s like parts of not only my character but my feelings aren’t intact either. Everything feels dull and lackluster, when I’m happy I don’t feel fully happy, when I’m sad I don’t feel fully sad, when I’m hungry I don’t feel fully hungry, even pain from self harm feels duller. I feel like a light about to go out, the dimming of a fluorescent lightbulb. Everything also seems a lot dimmer, like genuinely it’s as though someone dimmed down the lights. It can still be bright though. I don’t say that in a metaphorical sense I genuinely do see this dimming and brightening, I’m explaining it poorly I swear but it’s true. But back to the whole feeling duller thingy, I just don’t know what to make of it because I’ve always been a very emotional person but when I cry it almost feels forced sometimes but I am sad and I know that I need to cry in that moment so I make it happen, I feel less than human sometimes as well. I don’t know if I’m depressed or something else but I don’t know how to fix this situation or proceed in general. Even in this very moment I will a pain of worry but even it feels wrong, I’m worried that this may affect my relationships. I have a girlfriend and I have had the best moments of my life with her and I don’t want to ruin anything. I wish I was good enough for her, I try so hard for her, but I feel like I’ll never be enough for someone like her. Sorry for the whole tangent.

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Peugeot 206cc at Gütersloh rathaus

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My girlfriend is rather reckless in protecting her privacy. She constantly walks out on the balcony totally nu.de. She walks around na.ked and pauses in front of the sliding glass door. Then she steps out onto the balcony.

She says we are high enough up that no one can really see any details from the street. That might be so but there are people with high power telescopes in other buildings. They be on higher floors looking down at her, or on lower floors looking up.
There are high power cameras that take pics and video. I don’t want to see her pics on the web of her rubbing suntan lotion on her bo.obs or her sitting in the lounge chair with her legs spread open.

There lots of guys out there with telescopes and high power cameras. She even does nu,de exercises on the balcony. She says she enjoys the sunshine. i wish she wouldn’t be so exposed.