im in love with my bestfreind`s new boyfriend. her first boyfriend was actually my bestie too and i didn`t really love him i tried my best not to catch feelings to not ruin things and i didnt i just ended my relationship with him as my bestie told me. but then i met this someone he`s the first person who ever treated me well.. like i myself didnt know if i deserve him or not.. that i even found it weird and creepy and tried to avoid him until i surrender to him. he literally made my life better changed me to a sweet person just like him, i was angry all the time but he did change me, and i can say i did the same to him, we harmonized and found balance in each other … it is my first time ever to meet someone who fit in my life like this as my first love was a tragedy and immature situationship.
and then, weeks later from this my bestie got f****** mad at me cause i got too close to him without even trying as he never speaks to anybody en general, she told me she likes him and i should back up as he will never fall for me anyways, and i did.. im weak f****** b****, but i decided if he wants me he will insist on me, he did.. like the few first weeks, then she started to copy me and they got together, and now im so f****** sick of it, i dont want to act silly just because of a one boy and ruin my friendship, im not a really a relationship seeker but i miss him i do f****** miss him, it was my first time to find a balance between me and a person without even trying or noticing just me being me. i hate this. i hate my bestie but i do love her as well. and i think im mentally sick.
he still into me tho. he never really stop trying to understand when things went wrong, but i just keep ghosting him. even if it was me who backed up i still feel betrayed that he still did chose her like everyone else, i even told him to stop giving me too much attention it is weird an uncomfortable to me as he treats me like the only one in the room and others start giving me the eyes for it but i do f****** want him.. like i want him so bad.
