When will it be my turn to find love. I’ve been waiting and trying to get you to notice me. It worked… we talk sometimes and we’re friends now. Everytime you send me something randomly it makes it a million times harder to get over you because it restores that hope. That hope that you could possibly like me back. I feel like my life is a mess. I know it really isn’t that bad. But I just wanna feel whole again. I need to get caught up on work, I need to keep excelling at swimming, and I need to keep going to the gym. I want enough time to help my parents more and maybe get more sleep. I don’t know how to manage it all better. how do i juggle this all while my mental health plummets. Which causes my physical health to go down a bit. I’m building it back up though… God I just wish there was more time in the day, but there’s not. So I will just have to s*** it up and tough it out for a bit longer. Catch up on school for sure. Get that stress off my back. Then I will be able to manage my days with a bit more ease. I’m becoming so negative and cynical and I hate it. I want to be nice and more positive but it feels so hard with my mental state and situation. I feel like a disappointment to my family and to myself. They told me I am not a disappointment but it feels like I am letting myself down. i’ve never been this behind in school. I mean, 22 english assignments, 9 biology, and 11 history? Who am I? WHat happened to me. What am I doing? I need to stop being so hard on myself but I think in conclusion I just need a long, reassuring hug that I am not going to get….
