am i going to hell then. for the way i turned out to be, if i wasnt abused, if i was given a bit more attention would i be a diffrent person, would i go to heaven? even i didnt copy the cycle of abuse and projected that on my dog and mum. if i was born straight. if i stayed in my place as a women. if i obeyed all the rules of religion. was having a bit of fun a sin, am i not supposed to have a bit of fun as long as it didnt harm other people or is that still harming my chances of heaven. is there even a heaven, because i think it would be way more cruel if it was. i want nothing to be there, that way i wouldnt be going straight to hell.