Look, the truth is if you did me wrong, and by that I don’t mean you left me and never talked to me again, I mean really f****** wrong in quite a few ways that let’s face it, do last forever and I haven’t spoken to you in at least a decade…. You might as well f****** forget it, and just keep walking. I mean seriously f****** forget it. It’s reader than f***, I couldn’t so much as bring myself to say anything, not a word to you in person ever again. I know that. It’s a mental block that can not ever be taken down. Even if I wanted to. It’s a slippery slope, a fast f****** train and it’s been going for a looooooooooong time. It’s too late. Much too late. I am not gonna say there isn’t any hard feelings, because there is and the thing about it is it has nothing to do with love and breakups. It’s isn’t petty s***. It’s muuuuuuuuch f****** deeper. It’s one of those hurdles, from my perspective, that can not ever be overcome. You could say I might even seriously dislike you. It’s not a big deal, it doesn’t devour me, it isn’t a constant, I more often think of other things, not even people. Many things, but you know. Contact in any way is not something I ever want again. You know. I may seriously dislike, but it’s not a constant. Stay out of my sight, which isn’t that difficult, and I’m fine. Do you care about me? You want what’s best? Do you? Well, then you should stay fucked off, and wipe it out of your mind.
Others, I might even love you on some level. There’s more than one and I probably love you because I know you genuinely care about me but the thing is like I said I can’t inject myself where I don’t feel I belong. Or maybe I don’t think it’s right. 25 year old girl I had a liking for a few years ago, not realizing she was 21, and she liked me too, I know she did, we went out separate ways, I did try to get her, she nicely reminded me that I’m much older and I knew that was true, but I also knew that it was sort of a b******* excuse and it didn’t matter, and she DID like me, but I took it for what it was and left her alone.