I love quite a few women in that way.
Unfortunately, there’s things going on that are more important than I am in their lives.
One of them in particular, who I do not love in any way anymore, and wish she would literally act like I never existed. Only one though. I will never even so much as speak to her again if I had the opportunity, and I would act like I don’t know her. I won’t say I dont forgive her, but if she cares about me, she is going to damn feel how wrong she was until the day she dies. She got the best of me and my energy and what could have been my best years. Hopefully she enjoyed it. Now she needs to enjoy her family and her SO who I know she has been with for a long time.
The others… In some cases it’s my own fault that we are not within reach. I could not expect anything less from them. They did what they had to do and I would accept any grief they had to give me as if I deserve it. I also know there might not be much room for me in their lives at this point.
There’s non romantic things too like my cousin. It’s nice seeing her. I like her. She mentioned she might drop in for a visit more often. I told her “go for it. Any time. As you can see, the place is clean…” I’ve been keeping up on it. One of my own resolutions a year and a half ago, and I’ve stuck to it. Bought a good carpet steam cleaner shampooer I use once or twice a year. Vacuuming, moping, dusting, disinfecting, every few weeks. Brought the carpet back to life. Actually, I started that the last time she came over.
