Yeah…. What a f****** loser I was. My f****** god. My f****** god!
If that’s her in the picture I found, I do realize that’s an older picture, I can’t really tell if it is in fact her, same name, but looking at her in that picture vs pictures I have when we’re were kids, facial structure, smile, F***! Yeah, it could be. Gorgeous. Not that she wasn’t, I knew that, I was just f****** stupid back then. F***, was I ever dumb. Gorgeous. Perfect.
I hate that I hated myself enough to not feel good enough for more than one thing in a specific period of time. One than one gorgeous perfect thing. It cost me a lot. A few things. A few things that could have been mine. They were. I decided I was not good enough. Most losers would just throw themselves in their head first without a second thought of if they’re in the correct league. Not me. Of course not me…. F***. Jesus. God.
