It is coming somewhere deep from me inside the heart, sometimes i feel alone. My last relation was really bad one. It went for years but still i didnt

4 years

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It is coming somewhere deep from me inside the heart, sometimes i feel alone. My last relation was really bad one. It went for years but still i didnt realisez thqt i was destroying myself, who i was, i changed my every single habit for her in return i got nothing but tears. My friends and her friends made me realise that i was doind wrong to myself and when i started doing right for myself my feelings for her started disappear. I could see she do less effort compared to me. At a moment i felt nothing whatever she do. So i broke up. Now i feel alone, i have some good friends but i feel that need of partner that i even didnt got in that relationship. I just want someone who can give me back something in return atleast a bit .

New Confession

i tried nitrous for the first time last week, on his birthday. it was kind of underwhelming. i think i already have a tolerance from past ketamine abuse since it acts on the same receptors

i am thinking of doing ketamine again. i do it every few months or so now. im tired of snorting lines though and ive been thinking a lot about injecting it again. IV is like a dream, but apparently its easy to “pass out” before you can take the needle out of your arm, so im worried about taking really high doses. IM takes a little more time, but it leaves you with muscle pain for a few days wherever you shoot it up.

ive had a plate of lines sitting in my room for like a month now. itd be easiest to do those, i just hate the long 12 hour comedown when i take enough for a k hole….

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