Okay so actually it’s not a big problem but it’s been bothering me for a quite a while. I have this friend who I considered close but not that close, I’m happy every time we hang out together and I feel comfortable around him, I feel like I can discussed anything and he responded really well to my opinion and stuff. At first everything seem perfectly normal (for me) and I thought him as one of my close friend but later on he sometime like to tease and show some subtle sort of attraction towards me, and to be honest it’s make me confused what is this mean (I’m never good at dealing with read others emotions) and during that time I’m being in denial with myself about him because I don’t think I’m his type and he was always nice to other people his personality is like golden retriever, he can be friends with everyone, plus he’s been crushing this other girl for awhile and everyone know it, so there’s no place for me in his story. Because of those three facts I’m convinced myself that my friend is just like that, he just being nice to me and there’s nothing more. But later on he sometimes like to give hint about being attracted to me and I’m started noticing when I caught him off guard I caught him staring at me and he acted flustered around me and he remember details about me that sometimes I forgot myself, and since then I have this urges that he starting to like me, I don’t know it’s hard to described but I feel like I have this strong sense that tell me he like me, but I’m not very sure with myself because I don’t want to flatter myself and hurting myself in the end. And there’s the part where I really confused, I’m pretty confused with myself “how I feel about him” and during those period he also make things more official with his crush and I think he’s a simp for his crush but at the same time he started approach me more. When he’s approaching me I feel like he being genuine and really nice so I responded to his messages, calls, dms, and whatever he tell me and slowly I begin waiting for his next messages or when we’re going to meet and stuff like that, and I started to wish that he like me but I’m still not sure about my feelings toward him whether I have a crush on him or it just admiration or I just like when I knew someone has a crush on me, I really don’t know. Because of that I really opened myself to him and hear his stories and we hang out a lot but I feel like he started to make distance toward me. But a few weeks later everything seem back to normal and we hang out again as usual but this time when I ‘m hear his story I can make some assumption that he doesn’t like me in romantical way, the conclusions that I can make is that he like me as a friend and nothing more. And when I realized this I feel little bit disappointed but not because he doesn’t like me in romantical way but because I lost someone who admired and like me (?) I don’t know if this make sense but if I have a crush on him I probably feel really heartbroken right? But I don’t feel heartbroken or I want to cry on my pillow, I just feel happy for him because he make things official with his crush and to be honest a relieved on my part (?). So yeah the question is that do I have feeling for my friend? And how I react to it if I have because there’s no hope for me in his story. And what should I do if he does have a crush on me but just to afraid to tell the truth? Am I being overconfidence about his feelings towards me? And lastly how to not being bothered about this problem because honestly I don’t want to think this kind of stuff.
