I’m f***** numb emotionally. I don’t think I’ll ever love again. I’m not way that as poor me, it just flips me out hole f****** faithless I am. I have been fried out by some terrible people. I have reached he point where I don’t even care. I could have been with some serious gorgeous women inside and out, I’m like nah. I’m half hearted a about everything. I can take it, is nice, I enjoy it, I love women but in the end, I can leave it easy if it’s too much effort or I doubt intentions. That’s a big one. If we are not naturally on the same page with the certain things, or I need to work too hard, I’m out. My brain can’t handle that. I’m the least clingy in the world. I w as buying someone on here who was talking about a guy who was too old for her she doesn’t want to get tied to an old man who can’t do it for her now. I was like “welp…. nice knowing ya! Take care of yourself, g’bye!” That is how I am. It’s he best way to be, if you get off to just having 30 women following you around. You just simply need to basically act like you don’t really care at the right time and be able to just cut it, and disappear. It’s a guarantee she will remember me. I like that. It works better than before ng insanely clingy and I like that. I like how throughout my life, my entire life, I have so many women who love me for life. And to some of them, I probably feel the same, at least for what it was at the time, even as long ago as it could be. I wouldn’t change it. I don’t say that to be snarky or full of myself, getting off on making them think about me, maybe break their hearts, I’m not proud of the act of hurting her, I damn well want her to, for life, and sometimes the only f****** way to get her to show it, is to break her heart. It hurts her, of course, but that doesn’t mean I am not equally hurt. It’s not a game of win/lose. It’s not an attack.

But this is the kind of thing that has fried my emotions. One of them, I honestly don’t even know if it was one of them, or 2 of them, if they are connected, but one of them was malicious. Or should I say, she (one of them) gave a few malicious people enough to do a serious number on my head. Which could very well be something petty for revenge for evading her twice in life over a 15 year time period, and she or her b**** friends felt I needed a kick in the head. And if that was the case, fair enough. I often think if that was the scenario with her, that really did a number on my head. That right there, while it might have felt good to kick my a** then, it was so mentally strenuous, it short circuited a part of my brain that makes me care. Permanently. To the point that you ruined what you could have had by stabbing or letting others stab it to death.