lately it’s been weird, like everything is great actually but slightly off. it’s like I miss you, but then again, I just cannot handle the fact that were fully over. Like I really do miss you Jake. I love you. And for a while now. I know I ended it but I needed to fix myself, I needed to change to make myself better for you. I hate to see you move on. It hurts, a lot. I’ll never forget the way you held my hand under the table. We were sat in performing arts, I was sitting right next to you, you grasped onto my hand so tightly, looked me in the eyes with your stunning amazing blue gaze, and as the words “I love you” escaped your lips, thats when I knew I was so truly and deeply inlove with you. I remember when we first ignored each other. Sitting by that same exact table but seats apart. No hugs no texts nothing. But the the next day, when we fixed things and I had my hands wrapped around your arm when we were walking, I really did feel something for you. It was something about the way you did things. The Little things. Grabbing my bag for me when I got up to get to class. Opening the door door for me. Taking my rubbish to throw it away. Walking me to class. The quick little hugs and kisses. And the bigger things. When you would wait for me after school at our usual spot. The kisses you’d give me when we had to leave. The times where you would check up on me when I wasn’t with you. The calls at night. The anniversary gift. I guess it’s not really a random feeling. I guess what I feel is bigger than that. I love you. So much more than you know.
-R