i met a guy online and we became friends 🙂 he makes music, i got his @ when i asked for his work! he says he’s not a good person but im okay with that. I feel like many people aren’t good people. that’s okay with me. i didnt know he was famous, but i came across threads about him and his fanbase this week. goodness there’s so much information. i feel so guilty, like im invading his privacy. I truly didnt mean to do that. anyways, he’s involved in a lotta stuff in his past. like a lot of other friends i have had. im happy to hang out with him, he’s one of my friends. still one of my friends. maybe this accidental info overload was a huge shock to me. i have this complex about “popularity”. it feels different – the people who are known around and those who are but less. it doesnt make much difference, for me, though. still friends. apparently her fanbase is very young. he’s mixed with pedoph3l-, lots of things people would find disgusting. goodness! im surprised. but i dont know what to do. i’ll stay neutral, since i feel that he’s still my friend. i dont really understand. but anyways. maybe this was such a shock, that every time this comes to my mind, i feel extremely nervous? excited? Nauseous? like having a crush, or feeling confused? looking forward? not knowing what to do? i wish i knew. or not, maybe that would be more difficult. but i keep thinking of him. like every time i say that , i feel disgusted – about myself. for considering such feelings to a friend. and what preferences should i have to feel that way about someone who has performed such atrocities? im concerned for myself. selfish? i dont know. im concerned for my friend. hope he lives a purer life. we could all – everyone – enjoy some peace in life. i need some most right now. maybe?