Life’s too short to hate. Hate takes up so much time and energy. Hate is the consumer of time and the roots to regret.

I had an epiphany.
Which made me realize how old and crazy I’ve become. Old people aren’t prone to change. They find comfort in their beliefs and anything that goes against that, will deny their experiences and journey up to that point. We all want purpose. That our lives are not meaningless.

I am fixated on time, space and our future. All of my life, I’ve been trapped in the past. The present for me was seeing the past in real time. And my future always felt unreachable. None of it felt real. I would watch my peers get ahead in life- living their lives. While I felt stuck and trapped inside my head. I was a prisoner of my own mind, roommates with my own thoughts. I tried so desperately to escape. I killed myself multiple times. Until I’ve finally thrown away my Ego and diminished my past self.

It was no longer about me anymore. I don’t care what my future is like. I care about the future of humanity.

I thoroughly believe a man like Elon Musk is a historical figure. We’re just seeing him in real time. We’re abusing our Planet Earth and are taking it for granted. I left my heart in the mountains.

And I’ve learned to be at peace with death.

There was always something that prevented me from committing suicide. Regrets. The what ifs… Even at the age of 12, I was Smart enough to be hesitant. Thankfully so.

I was an Atheist living in a religious household. I felt like God was Santa Clause but for adults. I was waiting a long time for my parents to admit that God wasn’t real… that they had no clue what to believe in.

But now I understand that some people NEED religion to make sense of the world.

I am no longer Atheist, but I don’t believe in a religion.

I believe in a higher being/beings. We are not alone in this universe. There are so many things that we can’t comprehend yet. If only there was time. It’s regrettable that I can’t cure the child-like curiosity in this lifetime. Or maybe ever…

But I would like Humanity to survive long enough to find the answers.

I have faith in us. Everyone starts at 0, But as a race, we can achieve so much.

I can’t die because of regrets.

I can’t die because curiosity has the best of me.

I will die eventually, can’t I savor this moment? When I rest, I would like my grand dream to be as vivid as possible. When I die, I would like to wake up.