So my Dad bought this weird coffee table made of wood. It is made of a bunch of rounded and polished branches sticking out of a center. It’s strange.

Then I realized that some of those branch projections look kinda like an erect c***. So naturally I took my p****** off and tried out the table. I’ve had to get in some unusual positions to get those polished c**** up my p**** but it’s so good. It’s great exercise and that table has screwed me in so many different positions. It’s so nice and hard.

I need to get a big piece of wood and smooth it and polish it and then ram it up inside me.