• 4 weeks ago

That’s a good question. Why?

As with everything in life, questions, I just try to understand the motive. Why? I don’t care so much about the context, I want to know why? My brother will say “this guy said this” or “this guy did that” pertaining to something not having to do with you, daily life, and I’ll say “well now, why would he do that?” As if to brush it off the actual context, it doesn’t matter. Why. And he’s all stunned ??? I don’t know? That’s what he said. Well that’s what matters who cares what he said. Why did he say that?

I never really find anything to justify it. I never hurt you any more severely than you did me. You did me worse by a long shot, and permanently. I really didn’t mean anything I may have said. In ways that have a permanent impact. I guess you could say that you (with the help of friends) ruined my life in a few ways. That’s a fact. Intentionally.

We can’t ever get together in any way, on any level, ever. We have nothing to offer each other. Nothing in common, we don’t want the same things in life. We are just not on the same page, never were. I always said “if we were in high school together, we would not have anything to do with each other” I couldn’t get over that we were as close as we were for those few weeks we were good. You seeking me out, pursuing. Initiating. Of course I know now that was all shit. You had other motives involving old friends, it was a sham when it was good. You used me, just like you use the people I happen to be around now. That’s why you needed me then. It had nothing to do with me. I go back to the high school thing. That stands, and it probably should never have happened. We can’t be together.

But you don’t really want that either. You don’t want to be with me. I don’t have anything of value to offer you, you are not into me. I could be the sexiest, sweetest, hardest working, best shape 46 year old man you could ever meet, that’s not good enough, it’s not what your looking for it doesn’t matter.

I just keep think you have mental problems. Severe mental issues Sociopathic, maybe a bit psycho and unfortunately for me being as attractive as I am in so many ways, with what we did have, I’m the target. I have a few traits and qualities you will never find anywhere else in one person, I know that, I am the best in more than none way BUT (and this is where you’re torn) I am not making at least 6 figures a year, not even close and to you that IS the most important trait. So the bottom line is that you do not want to be with me.

So why? Other than you have some pretty sever mental problems. Something is definitely up. I can’t figure out what or why.