Honestly, I think that my home isn’t the safest. They don’t hit me, they don’t starve me, they don’t force me to sleep outside. But their words and what they make me believe, makes me question it. They always tell me I’m selfish and that I don’t care for anyone except myself. I believed them, and soon became obsessed with taking care of people and rarely take care of myself now. It makes me sad, but my friends are happy. So it must make me happy right? Multiple times my sibling has been threatened to be kicked out and they already have a emergency bag packed. Just in case. If we do anything wrong, or even just randomly something happens, the mood drops. Suddenly they get upset, even if it’s just a small inconvenience and they blame us. My parents fight a lot, sometimes resulting in tears and I wonder if their relationship is even healthy. I want to prove to them that I’m useful by trying to get a job to help pay bills. But no one will hire me. I do laundry and dishes and clean and do things whenever I’m asked, but it’s never enough. I’m always the first one to say ‘I love you’ The first time I heard my mom tell me she was proud of me. Was last year. After that I’ve rarely heard it, maybe I’ve heard it three times in the last year and a half. Other then that, nothing. I’ve been told I don’t actually love my mom, that I’m pathetic, that I’m trash, that I should off myself. I don’t know how much longer my sibling will last in this household. But I only have maybe one year left here. Hopefully nothing too bad will happen.
