when I was in high school I worked at Blockbuster Music when we hosted a signing by Davy Jones of the Monkees he asked me to polish his pecker afterward saying the fans made him h**** his luscious curly p**** had a faint hint of mustard and bourbon and when he hocked his holy horchata down my hoovermatic hunger hole I yelled out I’m a Daydream Cumeater Mister Jones!

– CORVALLUS

so listen this is actually partially true, I spiced it up but the gist is 100% real it happened during my senior year of high school, the blockbuster music on US1 and sw 80 st in South Miami. Man that was a great job, we had the CD bar and we’d open up CDs and people could listen right there, I would copy onto tape all the hot new s***