Going from actively trying to repress myself to just being allowed to go hog wild is different. I remain strangely cautious. Perhaps I’m over thinking and the internet doesn’t help. It’s rife with unhealthy goals and behaviors I want no part of. Sometimes I feel like I’m just skating on the edge of something that could go wildly bad.

Of course this is inside of a larger situation that wouldn’t make sense to anyone if I tried to explain it. So, I guess I never will.