I have no one that I can have a real conversation with about my suicidal ideation/tendencies/thoughts. I can’t talk to any of my friends because they are either depressed and suicidal as well and I don’t want to set them off or they don’t talk to me anymore. I can’t talk to my family because they always change the subject and/or don’t even listen to me. I can’t tell my therapist because she is legally required to report me if I tell her I want to kill myself and my family says I can’t get myself hospitalized again because of the pandemic and our financial situation. So here I am complaining on the internet.

I think the next time my parents leave I’m going to play a game of “how many pills can I take before I pass out, throw up, or die?”