Today I spent time with my bestfriend. We went out to eat then went home and I laughed a lot. Then it came crashing down when she left bc I’m stuck here again in my thoughts. I wish moving on was easier. I wish letting go was easier than this I have too much to take care of than to be trippin over somebody. But my eyes have opened more than they were and I started to stop making excuses for her actions and I stopped second guessing if I should rlly move on. Now I am convinced that there’s something wrong and I have to get rid of it to be able to be me. I’m going to hang out w my best friend this Sunday again I hope with some of her friends. One of them used to like me last year and she was one of little people who genuinely liked me a lot. I hope when I go see her I’ll have a good time and eventually maybe try something new, it’s been months and I think I need to be healing w someone because I’ve healed on my own for too long now. I also got invited to a party tomorrow w a bunch of upperclassmen in college and my mom agreed which is literally impossible but she did so hopefully I make new friends and have a good time with them instead of being awkward. I want college to be a change in my life, and I hope it does