The question is, what does it really matter though?
Seriously? It’s not like there is anything in it for anyone either way, right? Not for me, not for them, there is nothing. It’s like saying “take a look down the street and there is nothing there. It’s a pointless exercise.
Do you understand? As long as no one is harbouring any ill will, I know I’m not, it gets a bit irritating to me when it keeps being brought back to me, I’m not harbouring any ill will but I get a bit irritated when it interferes in my current life or tips things out of balance or messes s*** up when I would rather not think about it or put any further energy into it, that’s understandably bothersome. It’s not my place to care or bother with it after so long. It’s in the past for me, so if it clashes with my current life where ever that may be, its a problem.
Do you think its a key to get back in here at some capacity? Because that is a hard no from me. Doesn’t mean I don’t forgive it just means indifference and it’s not something I care to revisit. It’s not right for me. I have a choice. It’s a 2 way street, and that’s what I’ve decided. I would rather move on and hopefully find some place better for me. So forgiveness even towards people who feel they need it from me, it doesn’t really change anything. It’s (what’s the word I’m looking for? It’s for show. It would just be….. it’s right on the tip of my tongue…. customary?? I don’t know but I means basically for show, symbolic, but in the end it wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t really want to be around people who want forgiveness. Basically you are not the type of people I want to spend my time with. It doesn’t sound very good to me. Do you get me. I don’t have any diabolical plans, I’m not out for revenge, and the only time I ever get angry is if you’re f****** s*** up in my life or being a nuisance. I’m long done with all the b******* and I am concentrating on life and whatever keeps my going. Responsibilities. No time for anything else, and if I do, it’s what I want, and that does not include being pals with people I don’t choose to be pals with.
Forgiven, but it doesn’t change anything. If you want me not to hate you, which still won’t change anything, you can do me the respect of staying completely away from me and my life. When you come to something you know for a fact is connected to me in any way in the future, ask yourself honestly “what kind of further b******* is this going to put on his shoulders? Is this going to f*** him over yet again?” and do the right thing.