It’s not like she needs me. She’s got friends, lovers, family, co-workers, aquaintances, admirers. Whatever, you name it… she’s got it. A normal life. Doing things, going places, being entertained, being entertaining.
She’s beautiful, accomplished, brave, adventurous, kind. Whatever, all the good things.
And, I want her to have all these things. Whatever she wants, I want her to have.
With you at least I felt needed. Whether it’s true or not is debateable. You have so many things, also. Things I don’t bother with. Things I ignored, turned away from, lost, threw away.
And I never really wanted them, or wanted them back. For the most part. Just a few grains of sand.
Whatever. Something. Blah blah blah blah blah. And so on and so forth.
I feel, in a way, as though I’ve gotten away with something. Not in a boastful way, in more of an alarming way. I’ve skipped most things. I’ve never flipped burgers for hire, or … well… the list is long.
This is why I have so much time on my mind, I guess. Time to ponder unsolvable problems.