Dear Elio ? Dear Alice ? Dear diary ? Dear zane ? Dear Ty ? Dear sol ? Dear me ?
It’s so pathetic that all our lives we’re writing for some fictional character, hoping that THEY hear us. Because real people don’t.
They don’t hear. They don’t understand. They don’t feel what you feel . They can’t get your logic.
Maybe that’s why I prefer the loneliness of my Diary instead of views on a random site. Viewers are still people right ? And people just don’t get it.
The war between mind and heart is one big civil war. Just like the war between reality and fantasy leaves too many casualties. No matter who wins , your heart or your mind. The reality and your beloved fantasy. You’ll ALWAYS get hurt because you’re in the middle. Because they’re all parts of who you are. Who you should be .
In the midst of this war , you’ll always end up bruised and hurt and that’s not even the worst part . The worst part ?! Is You, NEVER ever ever being satisfied with Anything. Is you never feeling that pure joy, pure happiness, pure love because there’s always something missing. Because if you’re in your hearts territory your minds chewing your head off and if you’re in your minds territory your heart’s aching and crying and hurting.
I just want that one minute of bliss . One minute of pure quiet in my head, in my heart. One moment of pure, deeply felt joy, pure love . I just want to experience that one minute and then cherish it for the rest of my life.
Sol, we’re not 14 anymore and we don’t write stories about lonely kings and fire queens. I pretend that I’m all grown up and past our silly stories and our imaginary worlds .
But the truth is, inside , I still feel like that lonely king up on my tower with a black cloak hiding in the shadows and watching over my kingdom of mist.
Maybe this is why I keep my mouth shot, keep my distance . Because people are real and mean and they never understand.
All they do is judge and inject you with high dose of reality until you overdose and THEN they’ll come up to your grave, telling you how they wish they had known and they could have helped.
All b******* .
All lies.