I am a drunk. I was drunk lastnivht alone. i was drinking brfore noon. i was driving a toddler around with a shakerr bottle filled with scotch and ice. other parents were around and also drinking heavily. i drank all saturday night. mostly dark beer with high alcohol percentage. ialso drank mint juleps. i also drank all day friday mint juleps. I smelled like bourbon and mint when I pised. there was blood in my s*** again

im only 38 butim f****** terified im an alcoholic

its been this way fot 15 years or so now. i didnt remember being such a drunk everysinglr day in college but I sure do drink alot now

$16,000 last year spend on alcohol. just for me. I added up all my receipts. looed trough debit card statements and credit card statements for my purchases at liquorstores or bars.. checked the math twice… that doesnt even include times I paid cash or parties I went to that had free booze and etc

I spent more money on alcohol in a year than I do on anything else, except my house. my house note is a little bit higher.

I cant stop crying

my wife told me she didnt like this drunkenness everyday.. but she bailed me out after both of my DWIs… when i totaled two cars.

she still puts up with my drinking and hasnt left yet

One of my friends told me that another friend told her that he was worried about my drinking several years ago

i wish someone would have told me how to fix ths back then

This and all the cigarettes.. why did I ever start smoking back in 1997? I actively wanted to be a real smoker. I wanted it so bad in high school andncollege and then I got addicted to cigarettes

I can’t ever quit smoking and I know it

I cough all the time but I crave cigarettes all day. I can barely make it half an hour without badly needing another cigarette

I’m worried about lung cancer or mouth cancer.. I have these sores in my mouth

My teeth are all rotting out

But my wife knows I’ll never quit smoking

Im so scared I cant ever quit drinking now

I’ve pissed myself so many times when drunk

I can’t stop crying just thinking about it

What have I done to myself ??

Why is this happening to me??