I’ve had an episode of mania which lasted throughout the day, slightly shifting to lethargy and doubting my self- worth at times. I’ve had thoughts of coming out as bi-polar to my friends the next time that I see them, but then I find myself thinking of how I’ll be burdening them with my problems. I haven’t self-harmed today, which is an improvement. At the moment I feel as though I’m coming down, it started when I looked at myself in the mirror and thought that I’m a fat p************ with a head like an eggplant. From there I started to think about my autism- induced stupidity and social estrangement, not standing up for myself when I was bullied, my addiction to p*** and many others. I feel as though I’m the problem and that I cause bad things to happen. At the same time however, I feel as though it’s other peoples’ fault for not admiring and respecting my special powers. I can’t deal with the irritability, I’m afraid that I may become physically violent. I’m also afraid that my PE teacher and my English teacher are stalking me, I keep hallucinating them on the streets and then I start having painful panic attacks. If someone looks like them, I feel as though they’re going to monitor my personal life because I might step out of line. My crush, I start thinking that she’s spying on me on social media to see how worthless and pathetic my life is. I don’t hear or see things, these “teachers” that I see are usually doppelgängers.