I’m diagnosed as bipolar cause I struggle with depression and my dads bipolar also. I’ve never had mania not even once yet I’m on mood stabilizers and typical bipolar treatments. I wish I could f****** be manic even for just once. I wish I could feel the overwhelming amount of happiness and the “I can get so much done but it’s all gonna be s***** quality bc I’m manic”. I’m so tired of being f****** depressed that I want to induce mania if that’s even f****** possible. I mean s*** at least then I’d know my diagnosis is correct. I just want to feel what happiness feels like for once it’s been so long that I’m starting to wonder if happiness is even a real thing or if happy people just pretend.