Why do I bother to study so hard when I could just use my body to make significantly more money? I push myself into states of extreme anxiety and depression trying stand out in a competitive field. I pride myself on being independent and hard working but perhaps I am just stupid. I used to be certain I worked hard because I wanted to leave my mark on society but that drive is gone. It isn’t hard to slither into a rich persons heart, pose naked, be a lovely temporary companion, etc. It is just acting and makeup. Dissertations, however, those are hard.