I once had a crush on my junior at high school, and that was my first and last time I like someone. My friend made a prank on me saying that she wannna meet me(which was a lie and she was only passing by at that time). So, I went out of the class, awkwardly approach her, and somehow tries to start a conversation.
But she looked at me like I was a weirdo, and even took a step back (I even heard her whispered to her friend that I was a weirdo). At that time, my heart cannot take it anymore, so I fake going past her and went into my friends class.
Since then, somehow, I didn’t feel anything to any girls that I met. My only thought was “Huh, that girl’s pretty hot/cute” and that’s all. Well, I’m an awkward guy. like, I can’t talk to a woman face to face, alone.If it’s my friends are with me, then I can talk normally to them. I’m also not a talkative person, so when my female classmates tryna chat with me, I was always panicking on what to reply to them. My friend said that my face was good and even I think of myself as a little bit above average. But, if it’s about confidence, then I’d like to think that I have none.
I didn’t trust my friend when they told me a girl like me. Even if the girl confess to me, I won’t trust her and thought that it was just a prank. Even when I got teased in a group chat by the girls, I think that maybe they’re just mocking me. I am paranoid to that extent. Is it weird to think like that?