I’m 30 now and want to get a dog from the shelter.

However, I have a history of abusing pets from when I was a child to teen. I used to beat them, kick them, pull their ears and tails, withhold food if they didn’t do something right, step or squeeze their paws until they cried, put rubber bands on their snouts and pulled it for as long as it could stretch and release it. The dog would actually use its paw to try and get the rubber band off its snout. By accident, one time my mom spilled some boiling water and the dog was under the stove. The dog got burned and my mom yelled at me to get it some cold water for the burn but I didn’t because I enjoyed hear the dog cry in pain.

I don’t know why I was so cruel. I made a promise to myself to never do it again but my family has some reservations of me having a dog. I wonder if I should. I need a walking partner as I want to continue to exercise and lose weight. I’ve lost almost 100 pounds. I think a dog will improve my life and perhaps be the ice breaker in meeting a guy at the dog park. I want to have a great future.