I’m a girl. I’ve always had giant crushes on boys. Butterflies, stares, daydreams, the package deal. But, I’ve sometimes had random butterflies for girls. For example, I was sick when I came to class and the girl who sits next to me makes some small talk, B: Wow! It’s so hot in here,
Me: For me it’s so cold!
We both laughed (I know it doesn’t sound funny, but in the moment, it was). She stood up and draped her jacket on me, even though I was already wearing my hoodie. She giggled and sat down in her seat right after though. Then, a small little butterfly just appeared in my stomach, it left as quickly as it came and disappeared in an instant. I also was thinking how kind she is to others and how adorable she is—can be. The second case when this happened is when I was in a group for my Music Class. We had a singer for our group and our teacher were helping some of the other “bands” out while we figured things out. I was helping C (our singer) set up the microphone, while I was apologizing that I wasn’t being very helpful when trying to aid C in fixing the mic stand. I went back to my chair and she said something that made my stomach twist. “Don’t worry about it! You’ve already helped so much!” It’s not a lot but… She just smiled so innocently at me as she sat down in her chair. The third time was when our PE class were presenting a dance (that we choreographed ourselves and chose our own music for) this girl and her group (mostly boys) go up to present. The music starts playing and I cringe inwardly but also smile, it was from a game that I loved and cherished but became embarrassed about after that phase. We’ve had a discussion about the sequel I didn’t say much, since I hadn’t watched many gameplays of it. But, she probably forgot about that conversation… But back to the dance, in the middle of it, I actually took a good look at her, she looked… attractive. Even though she looked exhausted and breathless. But like the other occurrences, the feeling came and went. All of this has just started happening (or the only times I remember it happening) this year. I’ve also discovered that I find girls sexually attractive. I wouldn’t mind kissing a girl, and I wouldn’t be grossed out going down on one (I’d be nervous that I’d get the wrong hole ew sorry that’s not PG). I haven’t looked at a girl OR boy from my school in a sexual manner. So I don’t know… I could be bisexual or under that umbrella. I’ve heard that that umbrella isn’t like the color purple, even if the colors (representing male and female) are unbalanced and there’s more of the other (I like the opposite gender more), it’s still considered purple. But… I can’t help but feel as if I don’t like the same gender enough, and I’m straight, but,
I hope my friends and family are supportive