I deeply miss cocaine.
Or rather I miss my life when I was on it. My social life was amazing when I was on packets, it was an adventure. My group would do so many interesting things and go to amazing places. Now, its nothing. I moved away from the people I cared about to study and I question why I am here and what the f*** am I doing with my life everyday. There is no joy and everyone around me are young first time away from home types that I just can’t click with like I probably could in the city. It’s just kids with their first beers walking around campus screaming at each other at 4am. I go days with out talking to anyone because kids can’t converse apparently. I was always around people who enjoyed human contact s***** or platonic but that would be weird here. My professor encouraged me to play a big sister to these kids but they don’t want one and I’m not wanting to be anyone’s mother, at least not without a line or two or three or several grams directly up the nose and I’m only half joking. I wanted to be here so I can get my education but the more I’m here the more I feel like I don’t really have to be for what it is I want to do, but I’m already in debt from it and have no drug fulled bright ideas to conceive and commit to.
